Toe in the water
Re-start, fresh start, whatever you want to call it
The longer you’re away, the harder it is to pick up the thread. There’s so much to catch up on! The past two months have been the longestfastest chunk of time imaginable. Scott and I flew from Portland to Virginia Beach for his father’s funeral. Then we drove his dad’s car all the way back home.
Four hard days with family, telling stories, sorting through belongings, navigating intense emotions. And then seven days on the road—a trek that took us through twelve states and four time zones. We took the long way home, detouring to San Marcos, Texas, for me to do a bit of book research. Because we were going to be away from home for so long, we made the hard decision not to stop and visit any of the many, many friends and relatives we passed along the way. We thought of you, though, and wish we’d had time to linger.
It was lovely to be on the road with Scott. We travel well together. I have tons of stories—and of course that’s what makes a catch-up post hard. So much ground to cover! After dithering and drafting and feeling like time was slipping away from me, I decided to go the quick-catch-up route and let the stories find their way into later posts. Whew. It’s better to write something than nothing.
What’s next? Today is my daughter’s 19th birthday (unfathomable) and the two-year anniversary of the day we closed on our house (still surreal). I’ve just barely begun the spring gardening chores (pressing but scrumptious) and am totally procrastinating on the taxes (we filed an extension). So much life life-ing all over the place!
And that’s just here at home. Whenever my attention is pulled beyond this threshold, I’m instantly tense and frazzled, and my to-do list grows another leg. I know I’m not alone in that. It’s such a fraught time.
But the
Book Club is reading Room With a View—one of my top ten favorite books. And my apple trees are blooming. And the birthday cake has just come out of the oven and smells like heaven.There. I’m back in the water. What did I miss while I was away?
(No, seriously, I want to know. What are you reading? Watching? What’s in bloom where you live?)
She's 19?!? Of course she is as my baby is 18 but it's almost like you forget that other people's children keep growing too. I'm so sorry to hear of Scott's dad passing. We both lost our parents a while ago and now I am watching the people around me go through it. It's hard losing a parent. You know it will happen eventually but I remember feeling so alone when my mom died --despite all my many people.
Lots blooming here. it's an endless succession for the forseeable future as the people who planted here did such a great job of giving us various blooming things that last well into summer. I want to start a garden but I don't know if I can muster the energy.I know from past experiences that you can spend a good bit of time fighting off all the creatures that like to eat what you plant and grow. Not sure I have the bandwidth for that this year. Fortunately I live in an area where fresh produce is abundant and affordable so I realize it's a luxury to be able to skip it.
I go in spurts with my reading. I'll read voraciously for months and then hardly at all. I can't seem to maintain focus at the moment given the daily onslaught of . . . chaos.
So lovely to have you back!
Funerals are so hard. Dom lost his dad and then his mom in September 2022 and February 2023. It still doesn't feel quite real. I've missed too many funerals over the years, though and am resolving to try harder to get to them. The processing of grief that way is so important.
19! Sigh. B. will be 19 next month and that still doesn't even make sense to me. Four teens in my house and one pre-teen and I keep wondering where the little people went to.
We have daffodils and grape hyacinths in our garden beds. All the maples are still covered in red flowers. Golden sprays of forsythia everywhere. The first early star magnolias are dazzlingly white and make me want to cry they're so beautiful. And some pink covered trees which I think might be plum, but I can't get close enough to tell for sure. The rabbits have decapitated all my tulips, so all those poor bulbs are producing is leaves. How do I make them stop?
I'm currently reading Alessandro Manzoni's The Betrothed (I Promessi Sposi) and it's amazing. It's so funny, such a romp. Like Shakespeare plus Dickens but in the Italian countryside. Also a new Doireann Nà GhrÃofa poetry collection just arrived in the mail recently. And my poetry has tended to Jane Hirshfield, Charles Causley, Robert Hass' translations of Bashõ, Buson, and Issa, Edna St Vincent Millay's sonnets, and Maryann Corbett.
Of course now you're making me want to pick up Room with a View again. I don't think I've read it since college. Someone mentioned recently that there's a reference in it to Manzoni's Betrothed.