What do you do purely for fun?
Or do you, like me, manage to turn every delightful pastime into an all-caps PROJECT
I’m really bad at hobbies. I mean, at staying in the hobby space, where you do the thing just for fun, with no expectation of sharing it with anyone or (shudder) turning it into a form of work.
I’ve always been bad at this, my whole life. But it seems the internet worked a kind of dark magic on a lot of folks who might have otherwise been joy-hobbyists had, say, Instagram never been invented.
Show-and-tell really is where the joy is, for me, and I know that’s part of why I start to feel unsatisfied “just” doing things for fun.
Also, my tendency to do deep dives (the REAL fun in life—learning about stuff!!) means I gain knowledge rapidly, and before long doing the thing has morphed into knowing all about the thing. Which, don’t get me wrong, has its advantages. I’ve always thought Oracle (post-Batgirl Barbara Gordon, who finds out all the information Batman needs in fraught moments) was way cooler a hero than Batman himself. (Sorry, Bruce.)
But I do get annoyed with myself for how hard it is to stay in the just-for-fun space. Breadmaking was pure sensory delight combined with thrill of learning—until I started (way back in the olden days of blogging) a bread blog. Then, ugh, you’ve got photos to take and words to write. And the sensory experience becomes laced with a sense of obligation: the joy-killer.
It took years for me to shake that off. By then, half the internet had taken up sourdough-posting, and I found I had zero temptation to share my own efforts on social media. I fell back in love with bread-baking, enjoying it to such a lighthearted degree that I’m able to do it now quite casually, fairly infrequently, with no pressure to be consistent or take pictures or write about it or make the experience last longer than the loaf in any way.
Embroidery is a bit harder for me to keep in that hobby space, because it’s a visual art form that exists to be seen. And I got good at it! So I go through cycles where I stitch for pure pleasure, for my family’s eyes only (or visitors), not bothering to take pictures—and then I’ll create something I’m proud of, and I want to share (show and tell!!), and the sharing generates CREATIVE ENERGY, and I’ve got a vision, a project, a plan—which, while in no way a form of work or obligation, begins to feel like work or obligation, and the energy fizzles, leaving me with a vague uneasiness and a frustrating resistance to doing the very thing I want to do for fun.
Surely I’m not the only one? You too, perhaps?
Sometimes I make lists of things to do Just for fun! On a break!! And then—oh, the mind is so obnoxious—choosing an item off the list actually begins to feel like a chore itself.
Who needs more chores?
In related news, I’m thinking of buying a hula hoop.
I feel this like crazy!! I am the same way. Thank you for putting this into words and making me feel less alone in the universe.
As a kid I liked writing plays and singing songs, but entertaining myself was never enough, not nearly challenging enough. To really have fun, I always had to stage the friggin thing, invite the neighbors, rehearse the scenes, figure out seating, run tech, whip up refreshments for intermission, etc.
My brothers liked playing with toys; I would much rather invent a toy than play with one.
As an adult, I’m the same way. I don’t really want to sit around playing a game; I would rather create a game. Why can’t I just relax? Why can’t I just play video games or watch movies? Why don’t I pursue hobbies?
I have no idea!!! There’s too much creative work to do. More than I’ll ever be able to get done. Having a hobby just seems like a distraction from what I WANT to do, which is work. Make. Create. Think. And share whatever I’ve come up with with others.
What a pleasure to learn you’re the same way 🖤🖤🖤
Years ago, your post on spending more and more and more and MORE time on Duolingo resonated heavily with me. I'm not sure what personality flaw causes me to obsessively pick up on crafts or things that are supposed to be just "for fun," and turn them into a contest where I'm competing with myself, but it happens frequently. I start to help out somewhere or pick up a new skill and the next thing I know I'm running a conference on it or teaching a class or, or, or. It is definitely not fun when my brain buys tickets for a bullet train that I can't jump from! Right now I'm playing Mineko's Night Market. Sometimes. I refuse to play even every weekend, much less every day. I refuse to learn how to get good at it. Sometimes I make crappy crafts. I'm genuinely trying to not somehow optimize this and...just...play.