I feel this like crazy!! I am the same way. Thank you for putting this into words and making me feel less alone in the universe.
As a kid I liked writing plays and singing songs, but entertaining myself was never enough, not nearly challenging enough. To really have fun, I always had to stage the friggin thing, invite the neighbors, rehearse the scenes, figure out seating, run tech, whip up refreshments for intermission, etc.
My brothers liked playing with toys; I would much rather invent a toy than play with one.
As an adult, I’m the same way. I don’t really want to sit around playing a game; I would rather create a game. Why can’t I just relax? Why can’t I just play video games or watch movies? Why don’t I pursue hobbies?
I have no idea!!! There’s too much creative work to do. More than I’ll ever be able to get done. Having a hobby just seems like a distraction from what I WANT to do, which is work. Make. Create. Think. And share whatever I’ve come up with with others.
The funny thing is: I do enjoy computer games, but when I play them, I tend to play in a way that turns them into yet another form of work—a drive to create big projects in Minecraft, for example (lots of creative potential in a sandbox game like that—but not really where I'd prefer my creative energy to go). I'll do a little binge (usually when I have an audiobook I want to listen to), thinking I'm giving myself some much-deserved down time, but instead I'm feverishly working away at another project—but one that doesn't give the long-term satisfaction of making something tangible. At least when I turn embroidery into self-imposed work, it results in real-world art. 😆
My creative outlet is primarily cooking. Since we all need to eat, that usually works out well! I have also started to learn to play guitar. I have no idea what function that will serve other than to hopefully make me feel happy.
I study voice totally for fun, with no intention of ever performing. Being a writer helps me analyze the poetry or song and being a teacher helps me be a better student. But any time a teacher has suggested I do a recital, I've explained that this passion is private.
I admire that approach so much. One of my kids was like that about piano lessons. Her teacher (or rather, the director of the music school—the teacher was a bit more mellow about it) would urge her to compete in piano guild, but she hated that. I had to explain very firmly that for this kid, playing was about personal joy, not public performance or competition. It was fascinating how alien a concept that seemed to the very performance-motivated director.
Years ago, your post on spending more and more and more and MORE time on Duolingo resonated heavily with me. I'm not sure what personality flaw causes me to obsessively pick up on crafts or things that are supposed to be just "for fun," and turn them into a contest where I'm competing with myself, but it happens frequently. I start to help out somewhere or pick up a new skill and the next thing I know I'm running a conference on it or teaching a class or, or, or. It is definitely not fun when my brain buys tickets for a bullet train that I can't jump from! Right now I'm playing Mineko's Night Market. Sometimes. I refuse to play even every weekend, much less every day. I refuse to learn how to get good at it. Sometimes I make crappy crafts. I'm genuinely trying to not somehow optimize this and...just...play.
"my brain buys tickets for a bullet train that I can't jump from" —— Oh my goodness, Tanita, that is IT exactly!!!
I have assiduously resisted even so much as peeking at Mineko's Night Market because the art is (I'm pretty sure) designed by the illustrator/designer of Glitch, my most beloved game ever ever ever whose death my family will always mourn. The art style was so much a part of our enjoyment of Glitch. I like the approach you're taking & admire your ability to follow those rules.
YES!! I turn everything into a PROJECT as well! Argh. I somehow take everything from reading books to listening to music to taking a daily walk and try to turn it into a project. (If I started hula-hooping, I'd definitely find a way to squeeze it into some sort of project-ha!)
I tried doing the 100-Day Project in an ironic attempt to get away from this mindset, but every idea I had for it became a tangent of ideas for making something more of it. I'm wondering if this is some sort of teacher instinct some of us have?
My latest way to ensure I'm not going to go into project-mode is to choose something I don't think I'll be that good at. It somehow frees me up to just *be* with it and not want to find a way to teach or share it.
I feel this like crazy!! I am the same way. Thank you for putting this into words and making me feel less alone in the universe.
As a kid I liked writing plays and singing songs, but entertaining myself was never enough, not nearly challenging enough. To really have fun, I always had to stage the friggin thing, invite the neighbors, rehearse the scenes, figure out seating, run tech, whip up refreshments for intermission, etc.
My brothers liked playing with toys; I would much rather invent a toy than play with one.
As an adult, I’m the same way. I don’t really want to sit around playing a game; I would rather create a game. Why can’t I just relax? Why can’t I just play video games or watch movies? Why don’t I pursue hobbies?
I have no idea!!! There’s too much creative work to do. More than I’ll ever be able to get done. Having a hobby just seems like a distraction from what I WANT to do, which is work. Make. Create. Think. And share whatever I’ve come up with with others.
What a pleasure to learn you’re the same way 🖤🖤🖤
The funny thing is: I do enjoy computer games, but when I play them, I tend to play in a way that turns them into yet another form of work—a drive to create big projects in Minecraft, for example (lots of creative potential in a sandbox game like that—but not really where I'd prefer my creative energy to go). I'll do a little binge (usually when I have an audiobook I want to listen to), thinking I'm giving myself some much-deserved down time, but instead I'm feverishly working away at another project—but one that doesn't give the long-term satisfaction of making something tangible. At least when I turn embroidery into self-imposed work, it results in real-world art. 😆
“thinking I'm giving myself some much-deserved down time, but instead I'm feverishly working away” — hahaha YES
My creative outlet is primarily cooking. Since we all need to eat, that usually works out well! I have also started to learn to play guitar. I have no idea what function that will serve other than to hopefully make me feel happy.
Cooking is a good "productive obsession" (to use Eric Maisel's term), for sure!
Yeah I'm all too familiar with the fun thing that becomes a project which becomes an obligation, which drains the fun. Sigh.
I study voice totally for fun, with no intention of ever performing. Being a writer helps me analyze the poetry or song and being a teacher helps me be a better student. But any time a teacher has suggested I do a recital, I've explained that this passion is private.
I admire that approach so much. One of my kids was like that about piano lessons. Her teacher (or rather, the director of the music school—the teacher was a bit more mellow about it) would urge her to compete in piano guild, but she hated that. I had to explain very firmly that for this kid, playing was about personal joy, not public performance or competition. It was fascinating how alien a concept that seemed to the very performance-motivated director.
I highly recommend the hula hoop! Also hopscotch and patty cake games just for fun, once a week.
Years ago, your post on spending more and more and more and MORE time on Duolingo resonated heavily with me. I'm not sure what personality flaw causes me to obsessively pick up on crafts or things that are supposed to be just "for fun," and turn them into a contest where I'm competing with myself, but it happens frequently. I start to help out somewhere or pick up a new skill and the next thing I know I'm running a conference on it or teaching a class or, or, or. It is definitely not fun when my brain buys tickets for a bullet train that I can't jump from! Right now I'm playing Mineko's Night Market. Sometimes. I refuse to play even every weekend, much less every day. I refuse to learn how to get good at it. Sometimes I make crappy crafts. I'm genuinely trying to not somehow optimize this and...just...play.
"my brain buys tickets for a bullet train that I can't jump from" —— Oh my goodness, Tanita, that is IT exactly!!!
I have assiduously resisted even so much as peeking at Mineko's Night Market because the art is (I'm pretty sure) designed by the illustrator/designer of Glitch, my most beloved game ever ever ever whose death my family will always mourn. The art style was so much a part of our enjoyment of Glitch. I like the approach you're taking & admire your ability to follow those rules.
YES!! I turn everything into a PROJECT as well! Argh. I somehow take everything from reading books to listening to music to taking a daily walk and try to turn it into a project. (If I started hula-hooping, I'd definitely find a way to squeeze it into some sort of project-ha!)
I tried doing the 100-Day Project in an ironic attempt to get away from this mindset, but every idea I had for it became a tangent of ideas for making something more of it. I'm wondering if this is some sort of teacher instinct some of us have?
My latest way to ensure I'm not going to go into project-mode is to choose something I don't think I'll be that good at. It somehow frees me up to just *be* with it and not want to find a way to teach or share it.